(Note: You followed this link looking for "tools." Sorry. This issue's NUnet is low on the tools and high on the links - we just thought the front-page tease was too funny to take down. Nevertheless, enjoy this offering of sports-related Web resources - Luke Winn)

The Man Behind the Headset

Does anyone really know the whole story about NU coach Randy Walker?

The press coverage after NU surged to a 5-1 start was widespread. NU fans read story after story depicting the second-year coach whose creatively-engineered offense had Big Ten defenses befuddled (until Purdue, that is.)

However, Walker's resume - and his persona - are far more complex. NUComment took to the Web to bring you the unfiltered facts on the man behind the headset.

Offensive and defensive engineer, yes. But DNA engineer, too? Apparently hewas keeping this a secret:
http://www.scms.utmb.edu/lloydlab/personnel/walker/research.html

Don't be duped by the combination of scientific research and those spectacles healways wears - Randy's no nerd. In fact, in Native American popular culture, he's some kind of stud.Take a look:
http://rednations.com/cgibin/view.pl?prog=Ecards&action=print&picurl=1.jpg&user=randy&emailto=

Rumor had it that in 1999 Walker wanted to show off his modeling portfolio - and his new NU coaching job - with a fancy Web site, but some dipshit already had the URL:
http://www.randywalker.com

And Walker was even more upset when he found out he was sharing a name with this guy:
http://www.letu.edu/undergraduate/student-life/organizations/deck3/members/walkerr/walkerr.html

In 2000, Walker finally got around to putting up his own page -- but he's most likelytoo busy with football to keep the thing updated:
http://www.randy.com

Be the 12th Man

Wildcat fans, face it: You'll never be as loud as Michigan's fans or as drunk as Wisconsin's. You'll never get a nickname, like Texas A&M's student body, and you probably can't muster up the balls to rip down a goalpost like, well, every other school's fans have this year.

The enthusiasm is here (maybe), but it hasn't been channeled. We offer a couple of suggestions.

First, don't copy this kid. One of him is enough.
http://www.fareastwildcat.com/

Second, utilize your creativity. Ask yourself not what the football team can do for you, but rather what can you do for the team? (note: It would be unprofessional, and possibly illegal, to offer specific suggestions here, but again, y'all should be smart enough to NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THE FOLLOWING LINKS.)

Most of us are adept at the art of "PH-ing" someone on campus to findlost phone numbers, e-mail addresses, etc. But did you know you can PH almostanybody on any campus, including football players? Hmm.

NU plays Minnesota on Oct. 28 at Minnesota. For fun, we PH-ed a few star Gophers:

Defensive End Karon Riley - He's got a pager!
Running Back Tellis Redmon - no pager
Quarterback Travis Cole - also no pager

NUComment isn't in a position to vouch for the validity of the information on Minnesota's end, but then again, we're not in much of a position to vouch for the stuff on this end, either.