Dear Readers:

It only took four long months to get it up again, just in time for Valentine's Day. Gently placing aside all sexual innuendoes, it’s been four months since we last uploaded our opinionated ranting and raving to your monitors. In October, I was quoted as saying it would be no more than a few weeks in between issues…well, “weeks” is a relative term, I think. We’re back now, so get over it.

So what has gone down since our last communication? Well, we won the Big Ten Title and then got trounced at the Alamo Bowl. We snapped a 32-game Big Ten losing streak on the hardwood. We conveniently surrounded Clinton with Bush, electing Dubya to four years of Oval Office fellatio. We saw Ray Lewis kill the Giants in another awful Super Bowl, we caught our first glimpses of the over-hyped XFL, and we even got a new slogan from the good people at Anheiser Busch.

And even more recently, some high profile mo’fos landed themselves in some pretty hot water. Ex-Prez Willie C. was overheard loudly telling lesbian jokes in a restaurant in SoHo in New York last week. Ex-Veep Al Bore started a controversy in his first day as a professor at Columbia by announcing that all of his remarks be kept off the record. But the king of all celebrity boneheads is Mark Chmura, the ex-Packer who was found not guilty of sexual assault against a 17-year-old babysitter after an alleged incident at a high school prom party. Mr. Chmura gives new meaning to the words “tight end,” and even more meaning to the phrase, “If there’s grass on the field, play ball.”

So as 2001 kicks off with a millennial big bang, we hope you can check back to find a constantly refreshing NUComment. Eh, who are we kidding? You know it’s gonna be June until a new issue to pops up. In the meantime, enjoy what we've got for you, and let me know where I can get someone to tell me that “I’m the man now, dawg.”

In this un-themed issue:

We all hold our own perceptions of the almighty Daily Northwestern, now hear what they think of themselves. Former Forum columnist Will Reichel switches to our side to bring you how the Daily perceives itself and how others on campus see the Daily. Ever wonder how some people really feel, here’s your chance to see.

Valentine’s Day isn’t just the emotional, puppy love day we think it is. Some female students want Northwestern to experience the physical side, and on February 10, the Vagina Carnival opened its big flaps, er, big top to the public. NUComment reporter Sandra Keats went to investigate the feminine festival, talking along a pencil, a pad, a press hat, and her vagina.

We've got one helluva point-counterpoint on our hands; an activist with a loaded resume versus a five-toed sloth that hasn't seen Norris since Esch went to school here. David Feder tells us why he hates joining clubs and some Greek God named Slade argues against these lazy ne'er-do-wells. No punches were exchanged, and no feelings were hurt, and just try to pick out the one who is being facetious.

Sincerely,
Slade Sohmer
Soccer Hooligan