by David Bartholow

In the months prior to the May 15 announcement of this year's Dillo Day lineup, rumors began to circulate about acts that might serve as background noise to the day-long bacchanalian affair. A little something for everyone was assured. “I don’t know, man, I kind of heard it’s going to be, like, the Strokes, Lenny K and J5,” they’d say. “The Slip and CDO’d open, No Doctors no play. Sorry, fool.” But rumors characteristically are the bane of the Dillo Day tradition because they swore, they swore on Guster for consecutive years, but you and I both know we got no bloody Guster, which is so sad.

This year, NU’s legendary (anticlimactic) Dillo Day promises to offer reasonable hip-hop and rock ‘n roll enjoyment. National touring acts Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, Mystic, Local H, Dismemberment Plan, The Slackers and The Pages will perform for the annual festival on May 25. Student acts the Porch Band and Jephree will occupy the event’s opening slots.

Here’s what you can expect from this year’s lineup:

Bela Fleck and the Flecktones

For years, headliners Bela Fleck and the Flecktones were regulars in the Dillo Day rumor mill, only to be ousted by the harsh realities of Long Beach Dub All-Stars and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Serving as Dillo Day’s highest profile act in recent memory, the Flecktones finally have their chance to woo the large, uninterested NU audience.

Since Bela and his Flecktones were introduced to the masses via the Dave Matthews Band in 1996, the Nashville-based quartet has managed to convince its legions of followers that their brand of gimmicky bluegrass jazz is both great and improvisational. Bela is a rare breed of banjo maestro, sure, but he’ll never be as cool as that inbred autistic kid from Deliverance. Bassist Victor Wooten, too, has mastered his instrument – which warrants a series of “Play Bass Like Big Vic” instructional videos – but his melodic ineptitude and lack of subtlety ultimately suggest what good bass playing isn’t. Wooten’s coked-up brother, Futureman, provides off-kilter percussion on some silly synth drum toy he bought at FAO Schwartz in the late '80s. Reed man Jeff Coffin is jazzy on his saxomophone, but more like Kenny G jazzy.

I love you.

Mystic

Lauryn Hill, India Arie, Jill Scott she is not. But she’s in the same category. If the band’s tight, and Mystic’s voice sounds right, this may be one of the event’s more pleasurable performances. Keep your clothes on, you don’t need to change for this one.

Local H

Chicago duo Local H scored a minor alt-rock radio hit in the late '90s with their little-too-late brand of Nirvana-inspired grunge, and are currently on a national tour in support of their latest offering, "Here Comes the Zoo." Fair thee warned, o my brothers, the Zoo material sounds a bit more spaced out and psychedelic, which may well make both color intensity and mid-trip vomiting more pronounced.

Dismemberment Plan

D.C.’s Dismemberment Plan actually has a noteworthy underground following here at NU, but they’re all ex-Phi Kaps. They’ll tell you how dope the Plan are live, they’ll say buy the first record first, not third. Last year’s critically-lauded Change earned the band new fans and followers. The record strays from the sounds of their "magnum opus," "Emergency and I," and highlights the Plan’s obsession with rhythm. Combining one-chord, Talking Heads-like funk with frontman Travis Morrison’s crooning falsetto and thoughtful lyrical abstraction, the new material is less driving, but convincingly displays the band’s competent versatility. Live shows reportedly are legendary. Don’t make the mistake of missing these guys just because you haven’t heard of them. They were supposed to play last year, like Jephree.

The Slackers

Oi Oi Oi Oi Oi Oi Oi. Friends oi friends, we wouldn’t really recommend busting out your old Rude Boy get up, no no no, you’ll remember why you cached it in the first place. The Willy Lomans of the dated punk ska scene, The Slackers themselves often times wonder why they chose to be a ska band in the first place. This probably would be a pretty good time to go find a bush and smoke.

The Pages

The North Shore's premiere cover band. They play “I don’t know, a little bit of everything – Beefheart and the Beatles, James Brown and Blondie. Niiirrrvana. Sponge, we play a little of them too…” Now, I’ve only heard this, but The Pages’ cover of “We Are the World” supposedly just rips. My friend says it’s totally inspirational, says he cried “in a blaze of rock and roll bliss.”

David Bartholow does actually enjoy music from time to time. He can be reached at d-bartholow@northwestern.edu.

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