by Katy Rosenberg

So you’ve got a roommate or a house mom or paper-thin walls between you and your quiet-loving neighbors. It’s one of the greatest problems we as undergrads face: where to hook up?! More and more it seems Northwestern students in pursuit of some action are taking their needs onto campus.

For the last six months I have been spending an average of 15 hours a week researching and writing my thesis in the East Tower on the third floor of the library. The East Tower is a quiet, isolated wing of carrels, stacks, and classrooms. The floors are red, the lighting low – how romantic. There is very little traffic in and out after class hours. But let me tell, those who do pass in the wee hours before the stacks close (11p.m.) are searching for more than the perfect book.

On more than one occasion, I’ve interrupted a steamy library liaison while searching the stacks for books. One couple was cutely kissing between stacks – stealing a moment, you could say. Another couple was audibly getting it on in an empty classroom as I walked by. These encounters lead to a consciousness (and my own bitter realization) that while I’ve been diligently cranking out my thesis, the public, on-campus make out is widespread at Northwestern, especially in the library.

It was the sole women’s bathroom on the third floor where I made my most entertaining “research” discovery. Adjacent to the bathroom, just inside the outer door, is a closed door. The sign on this door says, “Sex Room, Make Out Room!” For a while I merely chuckled to myself each time I entered the bathroom; my own private amusement that broke up the monotony of research. But, after passing it a few times, my curiosity got the best of me.

One rainy day in March, I pushed the door open a crack expecting to find a broom closet. Instead, what I discovered forever changed the way I look at the library – no longer the bastion of academic inquiry – and all those smiling, happy couples holding hands as they enter the library turnstiles together late at night – we all know now that you’re not here to study! Inside this door there is a light switch. And when you flip the switch, a bona fide make out room appears before you, replete with soiled cot, bedside table, paper towels, and a wastebasket. Woah!

With the image of the cot stamped on my brain, I wondered if this could be just an isolated instance of middle school bathroom humor, or whether this was my peephole into the shady yet admirable world of public, on-campus making out. I began using my thesis study breaks to conduct more interesting sociological research into the Northwestern library “make out” culture. Here’s what I found:

· Each of the women’s bathrooms on the third, fourth, and fifth floors contains a make out room, cots and all. The third floor, however, is the only one with such a clearly marked sign.

· On average, there are three seminar rooms in each library tower. Each has a large conference table and a door to close. Many have a charming lake view.

· The new technology wing in 2East is usually abandoned after 6 p.m. and sometimes the rooms are left unlocked, although they may have security cameras there – just something to consider, but then maybe that’s your thing.

· The fifth floor North and East towers are “special collections” with bright lights and lots of people around all the time. There are no classrooms in these towers. These are not good stacks for making out.

· Despite the widely disseminated rumor that the men’s bathroom in the basement of Deering Library is a meeting place/make out spot for homosexual men from across Chicagoland, my ventures downstairs never found this to be true. But there are explicit rendezvous reports written all over the walls as well as invitations for more. A friend of a friend told me that the bathroom is absolutely one of the hottest spots for gay men but since I’m not “in the know,” I’ll never know.

So much information led to so many more questions about the potential spots across campus. So, as a corollary to my research about Ernest Hemingway (the thesis quickly fell by the wayside) I started asking people about their on-campus escapades.

Apparently, the library isn’t the only place for wet hot encounters. Senior theater major Tim Dunn told me that freshman year he and an unnamed upperclassman went to the Sociology department house on Chicago Avenue a few times to escape the dorm and roommates. “There are these couches in the lobby, mmmmm. And they don’t lock the doors,” he said. “Yeah. We were there around 1 a.m. and had the whole place to ourselves.”

According to music majors Evan Cobb, Lauren Konen, Sarah Schram (and nearly a dozen anonymous others) the music facilities are the same way. Unlocked until midnight, Regenstein Hall of Music, MAB, and the Beehive are still accessible throughout the night (although the Beehive now requires students to swipe their Wildcard). Once inside, these buildings are full of individual practice rooms with doors that lock. As I’ve been told, playing on the grand pianos is just as common as playing them.

Pianos might be totally hot, but it’s quite possible that the science students have the most access to private rooms on campus. Perhaps it’s because they are inherently more trustworthy, or so their professors think when they give students keys to the 2nd floor student commons in Tech, the departmental computer labs, or private lounges. NU alums Danielle Williams and Tracy Motz have both admitted making out in the IE lab.

Students in the MMSS (Mathematical Models in the Social Sciences) program have keys to Annenberg Hall that they have been known to employ for “personal” use. One senior in the program, who requested anonymity, named the faculty lounge in Annenberg as, “a great spot, I mean if that’s what you’re looking for.” He also said that he would never sit on those couches because “you know people are always hooking up there.”

As wild and crazy as it is to get down and dirty in a classroom, you always risk getting caught. We all know the gamble is what makes it so hot, but be prepared to face the consequences. One evening about two years ago, senior Eric Nyari (then a sophomore) drunkenly stumbled over to his girlfriend’s room. The two were faced with the good ole’ roommate predicament. In his typical fashion, Nyari coerced his girlfriend to join him in the Bobb study lounge. He had just climaxed and their pants were still down when the door swung open and in walked the RA. “Get the fuck out of here,” Nyari yelled. The R.A. listened. When the two exited the room, the R.A. and his buddy chuckled to themselves.

“Oh, well. It’s always more embarrassing to be the girl in that situation,” Nyari later told me.

Senior sociology major Peter Eilhauer researched the phenomena of hooking up at Northwestern in his senior thesis, “Giving Dating the Hook.” According to Eilhauer, 71 percent of seniors and 74 percent of freshman respondents reported that hooking up regularly could hurt your social image. Keeping “things” quiet then would help keep students’ images intact while still allowing the occasional romp. This statistic seems to justify the secrecy, or privacy, factor that is at work in all this on-campus making out. (It also helps to explain why this school is so hurting in the hook-up department.)

Overall, Eilhauer found that 52 percent of seniors said they’ve experienced ten or more hookups at Northwestern (weak), and 96 percent of the total respondents said that hookups happened often or very often at Northwestern (10 in four years – not so much often). So, if you’re trying to keep pace with the libido of most co-eds, or maybe even trying to pick up the pace, the trick might be staying on campus. I’ve compiled a list of hot spots to get it on on-campus.

THE CREATIVE SPOTS
The practice rooms in Regenstein, the Beehive, MAB
TI rehearsal rooms
Painting studios
Doing it “Ghost-style” in the pottery studio in Norris

THE ROMANTIC SPOTS
Deering Library statue garden
Shakespeare Garden benches
The Lakefill

THE LOCKED SPOTS
2nd floor student commons Tech
3rd floor student group offices in Norris
Annenberg, if you’re in MMSS and have a key
The departmental labs and lounges in Tech
WNUR

THE FRESHMAN SPOTS
Any dorm “study” lounge
Willard basement bathroom
The Allison Hall storage basement
Department buildings after hours

Happy studying!

Katy has hit up many of these hot spots, but is still looking to complete the list. Give her some assistance: k-rosenberg2@northwestern.edu.