|
|
|
Reality
TV
GUILTY PLEASURE? ABSOLUTELY.
AWARD-WORTHY? NO WAY. |
| |
By
Rachel Bertsche
Nothing sends me dancing around the room in
anticipation like the sound of tribal chants letting me know that my
favorite hour of the week has arrived. I close my door to block out the
noise of my roommates and sit, staring wide-eyed at my television.
On the screen, the love of my life, Jeff Probst, tells “Survivor”
contestants about the bugs they’ll have to eat, about the rewards
they’ll get for winning challenges and about how they’ll have to leave
the island when, alas, “the tribe has spoken.” And, of course, I make
sure to press record on my VCR so I can watch the episode again Friday
morning with my boyfriend (Don’t be spooked, Jeff. Matt is well aware
that should you and I meet, I will cheat on him).
I should also note that my mp3 collection contains a plethora of oldies
sung by the likes of Kimberly Caldwell, Tamyra Gray, Christina
Christian, Trenyce, and of course, the Elton John of teen idols, Clay
Aiken. I’m proud to help these American Idol-wannabes extend their 15
minutes, even if they only live on in the confines of my iBook. And by
the way, Trenyce, you’re great, but you don’t have the right to a
one-name title until you at least have a recording contract. We all
know you’re really Lashundra Cobbins.
That said, as I read through the list of Emmy-nominated television
shows this summer, I was appalled to see my two favorites, “American
Idol” and “Survivor,” along with “The Amazing Race,” up for an award in
one of the ridiculous new Emmy categories: Outstanding
Reality/Competition Program. Nominees for the other category,
Outstanding Nonfiction Program (Alternative), included shows like “Da
Ali G. Show,” “The Osbournes” and “Trading Spaces.”
Television honchos added these categories this year to honor reality
shows with or without a competitive element, but they’re actually just
revised versions of last year’s Outstanding Nonfiction Reality Program
category, in which “The Osbournes” took home the statuette. I thought
the idea was stupid then, but seeing that “The Amazing Race” – a show
in which people run from boat to train to car for an entire hour – won
this year makes me think it’s even more idiotic now.
Reality T.V. is my guilty pleasure. But, if we’re really going to be
honest, it’s essentially trash. There is a huge difference between
“the, like, best T.V. show EVER” and quality programming. For example,
“Survivor” is “soooo the best show, at least since 90210” while “The
West Wing” is actually a great program. There is a line – not a fine
line, but a thick, glaring one that only the blind might miss – between
the two.
The Emmy Awards exist to acknowledge fine television work. They should
honor shows that make us think, like “Law and Order,” and make us cry,
like TNT’s movie “Door to Door.” They should pay tribute to shows that
make us laugh, but do so because they are clever, like “Will and
Grace,” not because it’s impossible to keep a straight face while
watching Ozzy Osbourne moon the ocean as he yells “You asshole!” to the
waves.
“American Idol” is fun to watch, and toward the end of this year’s
season I text-messaged votes for my man Clay every week. But it no more
deserves an Emmy than “Old School” deserves an Oscar.
I mean no disrespect to those who create reality television. In fact,
in an ideal world, I would be one of them. I have always said that my
dream job would be to join the team of people who concoct the reward
and immunity challenges for “Survivor.” I would sit around and say,
“Wouldn’t it be cool to make someone stand on a log in the middle of an
ocean and hop up and down on one leg while singing ‘Happy Birthday’
over and over?”
The National Academy of Arts and Sciences is trying to respond to the
influx of reality shows in today’s television programming by revising
its award show’s categories. But Emmy standards shouldn’t be
compromised to accommodate trends. In what seems an attempt to
legitimize my favorite trash, the Emmy nominations have instead
devalued the award. I’d like to think it takes a lot more than an
overly critical British talent judge who wears tight shirts to merit
the title “Outstanding.”
So, Jeff, my darling, I don’t think your show deserves an Emmy. But
please don’t be mad at me, because I’ve been planning our future
together ever since you put out your first tribal council flame. And
while I don’t foresee a gold statuette on the mantle, I was planning to
wear a Survivor buff to the wedding.
Rachel Bertsche, who is now a world-famous sex columnist, can be
contacted at r-bertsche@northwestern.edu. Special thanks to Knotmag.com
for letting us repost Rachel’s article.
|
|
|
