By Sarah Eberle

For some, it’s a pleasure like no other. For others, it’s the most painful experience imaginable. No matter your opinion, the anal route is sexual territory you’ll likely charter sometime during your bedroom escapades.

It seems women either love it or hate it. In general, I’d say most women don’t care for the ass shag and fear the pain over the curiosity. Some ladies consider their anus a one-way street that carries serious traffic penalties for anyone who tries to head the wrong way. But, for others, it hits the ultimate orgasm, the G spot, and can turn a quiet girl into a screaming banshie.

Men, like women, also part like the Red Sea with their views on anal sex. Some men say the asshole should have a “Do Not Enter” sign and think those who go against the grain are going against nature. They’re uncomfortable with butt sex because in their minds any man that likes it must be gay. They’re similar to the French, whose word for anal sex is the same as their word for sodomy. With its negative connotation, it’s hard to get turned on when you’re thinking about the high school football team in Long Island shoving pine cones and plungers up their teammates’ asses.

On the flip side, it’s the ultimate act of male domination, and the power trip alone gets them off. They don’t have to look their partner in the face so anti-intimacy reigns and emotions are lost. It’s just him and the ass.

I think it’s safe to assume that the homophobes are the minority when it comes to butt fucking, and most guys are more into it than a dick in a condom. After all, it’s the Holy Grail of tight holes, and the only thing that can compare is a virgin.

The ass also appeals to many men because it is flaunted in pornos. It’s glorified as the ultimate act of raunchy, dirty sex, separating the hardcore sex players from the benchwarmers who are too meager to act so nasty.

But even for pro-anal sex guys, trying to persuade your partner can prove to be a challenge.

Those guys who want to be ballers but don’t know how to score from backcourt sometimes try to con their way into exploring the girl’s anus. They poke their dicks around, acting like they can’t find the right hole. And when we catch them doing it, their usual reaction is, “Oh, that’s not your vagina? My bad.”

For girls that allow the intentional penetration, be advised that ass loving has different standards than regular sex. Contrary to vaginal penetration, bigger isn’t better in Shockerville. It’s much easier and more enjoyable if your anal partner comes equipped with a pencil-thin dick instead of a redwood tree.

For those girls who think their boyfriend’s penis is the perfect size for pleasure, anal sex is a spicy way to heat up any couple’s sex life. Shit can get old when you’re in a long-term relationship, and if you’ve run out of new positions, there’s always the back door.

If you do give it a shot there’s one pivotal rule to remember: You gotta wet it before you send it. KY Jelly needs to be your new best friend. Otherwise, friction will be the only reason your sex life is heating up. Despite what Busta Rhymes thinks, no girl really wants to move like her ass is on fire.

It’s your choice if you want to take a trip down the anal canal. As for me, right now my traffic only flows in one direction.

Sarah Eberle, who spent the quarter in Fargo, N.D., where no one has anal sex, can be contacted at s-eberle@northwestern.edu