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Willardites Find New
Way to Drink to Prohibition
CANCELLATION OF TRADITION LEADS TO DRASTIC MEASURES |
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By Matt Cohlmia
“It is with profound regret that I bring you the following news: There
will be no Frances Willard Party.” – Willard President Kevin Kearney,
in an e-mail to all Willard residents.
In what was probably the biggest social tragedy ever to hit NU,
administrators decided earlier this year to cancel the annual Frances
Willard Party forever. Residential Life bigwigs and a few latent fire
codes snuffed out the 35-year-old tradition that was a celebrated
monument of irony.
Frances Willard, the famed alcohol prohibitionist and NU alum from whom
the dorm got its name, would never have approved of the party’s
debauchery. Residents rolled in kegs and ripped open cases of Busch
Light for hundreds of visiting friends from other dorms while RAs and
administrators mostly looked the other way. In the 1980s, as rumor has
it, Playboy magazine named the Frances Willard Party one of the 10 best
college parties in America.
So Willardites, when informed by Kearney’s e-mail of the cancellation,
vowed to not let them take away the fun without a fight.
The night of Kearney’s e-mail, most Willardites huddled together in the
main room (technically an illegal gathering, according to the same fire
codes that Res Life cited in shutting down the party). We tried to
formulate a plan of action. “Let’s protest!” some said. “Let’s riot!”
others suggested. Eventually, we came up with an act of rebellion more
suitable to Willard’s pace: We painted the Rock.
And what better way to strike fear into the hearts of administrators?
Especially considering that the two groups that painted the Rock in the
days before we did were the Rainbow Alliance and the Campus Crusade for
Christ – both threatening clans, for sure.
We painted a fucking rock – probably the most anticlimactic reaction in
the history of injustice. Sure, it was fun, and, yeah, it brought
us all together, but it didn’t even make the Daily, much less get the
attention of Res Life. We hadn’t made our statement.
Until...
Halloween night rolled around, and all of our secret plans had come to
fruition. Electrified with the spirit of Frances Willard, we threw a
“Ghost of Frances Willard” party, right under the noses of
administrators. Finally, a true retaliation.
The 50 or so names on a typical Willard sign-in sheet swelled to 220,
with an estimated 100 or more attendees who didn’t bother to register.
Two overly drunk students left the party by ambulance. Hoards of
students were drinking, partying and having a great time, all without a
single write-up from an RA. Sure seemed like the Frances Willard Party
of old. Or was it?
“It was more wholesome, actually,” Willard President Kearney said.
“It was sort of like a Frances Willard Lite,” agreed Ben Woo.
No matter how scaled-down this year’s bash may have been, many
Willardites agreed that the biggest victory was simply keeping the
tradition alive.
“Everyone was kind of glowing by the end of the evening, like, ‘Yeah,
that was pretty cool,’” said Doug Singer, a sophomore.
Kearney called the party a success, but noted that it didn’t quite
match the debauchery or campus visibility of the original Frances
Willard Party.
“At least nobody was passed out in the hallways for a day or two,”
Kearney said.
Surely, it was a bash that would’ve made ol’ Frances red with fury. And
with administrators holding to their claim that there will never be
another Frances Willard Party, it seems the fabled, straitlaced woman
from Evanston may be the only one who knows what’s in store for next
year.
Matt Cohlmia, who is getting a Willard tattoo next time he’s downtown,
can be contacted at m-cohlmia@northwestern.edu
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