| | | The “A”-B-C’s of S-E-X
-an ongoing commentary on the nature of sexual interaction
| | | By A. Sinderbrand
New student week- what a blast. Everything from unlimited cheap flat beer to sloppy sexual interactions is seemingly within your reach. It’s a time when a harmless game of beer pong can quickly turn into an orgie…if you’re at a state school. Instead, you’re at Northwestern. Get ready to encounter more virgins and prudes than your standard pimps and hoes.
Virginity. Say it aloud. It’s almost as bad as “vagina.” It’s a word that sounds dirty. It’s also a word without a definitive meaning. Technically speaking, “losing your virginity” describes the first time you, depending on your sex, either penetrate a female or are penetrated by a male. It sounds vulgar because, when described in those terms, it is. What are we, mere animals put on this earth only to mate and procreate? I think the majority of young adults reading this commentary, if asked what their motivations were regarding sex, would answer “pleasure” before “producing offspring.”
The implications of having sex for pleasure differ depending on gender. This is an indisputable fact.
If you’re a male having sex for pleasure, pat yourself on the back. Acknowledge the skill of your “manhood” (pun intended). You’re a pimp. Even if you haven’t womanized and played her out completely, you’ve scored. It doesn’t matter if she’s not that good looking when you wake up next to her the following morning. You were sooooooo wasted and you got laid! You thought with your penis and it got you far—all the way home. You can tell your friends every little gory detail, hell, you can tell her friends, and ultimately, you’ll get more high fives than low blows.
If you’re a female having sex for pleasure, lock yourself in a bathroom stall. Contemplate your decision-making ability. You’re a slut. Even if you haven’t actually had sex with that guy you’re waking up next to, the fact that you’re walking along Sheridan Road in your spike heels and black pants from the previous evening makes you an authentic ho-bag. It doesn’t matter if he’s the spitting image of Jim Morrison pre-drug addiction. You’re publicly acknowledging your sexuality when you should be thinking rationally about the effect of these little trysts on your image! You can tell your friends you made out with him but if you did more…What rhymes with “more”? Whore.
Since the rationale behind whore versus SCORE depends entirely on gender, it follows that the implications of one’s virginity status are similarly unbalanced. I asked a male friend of mine his thoughts on virginity and he replied, “I say get rid of it, it’s of no use.” Male virginity is little more than a stigmatic obstacle—for guys who want to be sexually active, “V” is the scarlet letter of inexperience. Is there anything attractive about a male virgin? Aside from the possibility that his personal or religious beliefs inhibit his having pre-marital sex, no. Male virgins into their college years are what “Governor” Schwarzenegger calls critics of the economy: Girlie men.
Why is female virginity infinitely hotter than male virginity? I’ve heard guys use the expression “I’d love to take her virginity” countless times. Even if the virginity status of the girl in question is unknown, guys see her as a virgin and themselves as potential takers of her virginity. But why is the notion of the female virgin a focal point in so many male fantasies?
Communications junior Alex Glaser is attracted to female virgins “because of the innocence factor.” Over e-mail, he wrote, “While it is rare that I come across virgins in my sexual travails (due to my self-deprecating taste in floozies, sluts, ho-bags, and low priced whores), the one time I have done it with a virgin was magnificent.” If you’re female, publicly denying your sexuality makes you innocently alluring; it envelops you in an air of enigmatic mystique. Female virginity indicates the peak of the sexual unknown, and when a girl emulates that same quality that devastates male sex lives —physical inexperience—she’s considered hot.
Is taking a girl’s virginity better in theory or in reality? Guys often want to experience taking a girl’s virginity without feeling responsible for the figurative and symbolic loss of her innocence. SESP senior James Weidner wrote over e-mail, “If I was able to convince myself that she was just plain ready to lose her virginity, then I wouldn’t have a problem,” but that he wouldn’t want to make “a wreck of someone’s sexual life.” Alex Glaser was significantly less concerned with the personal guilt that might result from taking a girl’s virginity: “Per the guilt factor, it’s non-existent unless you’re a ‘nice guy’ and who wants to be one of those anyhow? They never get laid.” Freshmen girls, beware.
Does M-O-R-E really equal W-H-O-R-E? Send all suggestions, comments, and propositions to our budding new sex writer, at
a-sinderbrand@northwestern.edu
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