Turn-On Techniques From Around the Globe Aphrodisiac: (noun) a food, drug, potion or other agent that arouses sexual desire We all know the myths of aphrodisiacs. Oysters, champagne and even green M & Ms are supposed to make any human being turn into a crazy mad sex machine. So I thought, why not see if these myths are, in fact, reality? I grabbed my favorite “friend” and hit the sack with four different aphrodisiacs from around the world. Alcohol – The United States (and everywhere else, too) Ah, the horny college student’s staple. Alcohol is supposed to make you drunk with sexiness…and just plain drunk. Many a nights during a co-ed’s experience are spent going to bars and drinking until you have enough balls to go hit on that guy or girl you’ve been eyeing all night. While alcohol can reduce your anxiety and relieve you of your inherent awkwardness, it’s not the greatest aphrodisiac. Sure, you’ll do things you wouldn’t normally do and sex could be great. You might be less self-conscious and try kinkier things in bed. I met my hook-up buddy after an open bar and things worked out – the sex was spectacular and we had a blast. But before you have that seventh Jim Bean and Coke, think about this – the potential for disastrous results are the highest with booze. Vomit (ew). Passing out before you even get to cop a feel (you blew it). Blacking out (did I just get some?). And of course, the ever-present beer goggles (aww, fuck). Slater’s Stand – Watch yourself. Booze can be great for getting rid of your nerves, but it could lead to a sloppy mess. Spain – Vanilla Unlike all the foodstuffs on my list, this next one puts the masses into the mood via fragrance. I did this one a little differently and bought vanilla body wash. The first time I used it in the shower (alone, thanks), I got a whiff and was ready to throw down in the bedroom. It’s sensual and lusty. Not too sweet, not overpowering. And it’s a scent that’s gonna make you sprint to your fuck buddy/significant other’s house and have crazy wild animalistic sex. The smell is enough to turn any prude into a nympho. And smelling vanilla on your partner’s skin is just like an energy boost to get you going all night long. Vanilla is the way to get hot without eating anything – not that I tried that. Try that and get back to me. Slater’s Stand – Yes! Yes! Yes! Try vanilla body wash, scented candles or incense. The Aztecs/South America – Chocolate Chocolate was first used by the Aztecs to amplify adobe-rocking and feelings of love. And while this erotic staple of an aphrodisiac comes in many forms, I chose the cliché – Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup. However, my helpful assistant was hesitant. “Only if you can figure out a way to keep it off my sheets,” he scoffed. Solution? Swallow…your pride and use it as a lubricant for oral sex. A simple squirt of syrup (and skills) can lead to a tasty, sexy and new experience. And it’s always fun to sweeten things up! Slater’s Stand – Things can be a bit messy with syrup, but it’s a playful and delicious turn-on. Try chocolate fondue for romantic foreplay. China – Plums Okay, so we’ve all had plums. They’re cute and for lack of a better non-sexual word, fleshy. Plums were a favorite ingredient in ancient Chinese love potions. Originally, I was hesitant to even consider plums as a turn-on trick considering plums and prunes are good laxatives. Even so, plums appeared magically in the kitchen of my sorority and I couldn’t resist. I was ready to feel the need to skip class, make a booty call and get it on, so I ate one…yeah, I got nothing. Not even a tingle. Plums are good and all, but not the type of fruit that engorges the mind and certain parts of the anatomy. Maybe it’s because I ate it in a kitchen full of girls without any viable partner available. That could be it, but knowing me, the plums just didn’t work. Slater’s Stand – While “plum” is a super sexed word for me (no idea why), try the more typical fruits first. Maybe feed your bedmate a strawberry. Bananas are pretty phallic. Plums will not make you get naked. Maybe some plum wine (refer to alcohol above)? There you have it. And you know what? This was a highly enjoyable foray into the world of aphrodisiacs. Some worked and I was plum out of luck on the others (Ba-da ching!) My ultimate advice? Any kind of food you can bring into the bedroom is sexy. It’s a turn-on. It’s the excitement of trying something new and different. So, eat some chocolate, light a vanilla scented candle, take a shot and leave the plums in the kitchen. Oh, and then go get it on. PS You might notice I didn’t try out the ever-mythical Spanish Fly. Well, a) it’s totally illegal in the U.S. and b) it can cause major health problems, including perpetual boners and death. I have enough vices to cause my own health problems, thank you very much. Wanna eat some chocolate and get it on with Lindsey? Email her at lindsey.slater@gmail.com